Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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