Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
