I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
