Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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