I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
