If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
