he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
