I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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