i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
