the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
