ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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