I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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