Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
