I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize