It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
