Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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