Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
