Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
