Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
