smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
