I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
