She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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