I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
