Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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