the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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