Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize