Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
