So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
