My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
