It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Found the puke drawer
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I need water and some morals
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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