it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
