weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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