So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
