I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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