just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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