Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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