Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
