I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.