In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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