Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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