Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
