god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize