Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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