You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
