So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
