You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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