11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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