In the future we'll all be gay
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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