I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
