My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
