I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
