good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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