problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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