And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
