The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
