pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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