This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
