I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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