I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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