recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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