we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
