So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
