If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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