I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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