You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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