Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
