i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry my hands just texted you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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